Allah Maha Mengetahui

what is best for us. It's fated that our first baby is not meant to stay alive in my womb.Allah has decided to take it from us last week. it was Monday 7th Jan that I first noticed the brownish spotting but I thought it was normal for early pregnancy stage. told my husband and he said don't worry much. Everything is gonna be ok. the next day, I went for work as usual. at noon, once again I noticed the spotting. I was uncomfortable. Called the doc and she said that I should not have gone to the office. Oh man, I did not follow my instinct last night telling me that I should not go for work. But it's ok. Since it was 3pm, I guess I just waited until 4 before going back home. the spotting was on n off. my husband came back.I kept doing the research online and was relieved to read that spotting is common n etc etc. took wudhu' for Maghrib just to discover that the spotting has eventually changed to pinkish-reddish colour and I smelt blood. Ooh. Felt like fainting. Called the clinic right away and was put on q. Later, husband went out to buy dinner for me before we were called in to see the doc. I was just praying and hoping that the baby was fine inside. Though I just knew that something was not right. I let Allah to decide. We were ready for anything. I apologised to my husband but he kept telling me to stay calm as Allah knows the best. yes. Allah really knows the best. We went to the clinic, did the scan and yes, the heartbeat was nowhere to be found. (FYI, a week before 010113, we did see the heartbeat). Allah loves him/her more. I was so upset but I managed to control my emotions in front of the doc. Dr Marsita kept telling us that rezeki itu hanya Allah yang Maha Menentukan. He gave us happiness but he took it away from us in a week time.
So I was scheduled to do D&C the day after, Wednesday 9th Jan 2013. went back home. Cried my heart out. but now, I am feeling much better. I would say that we r not going to give up easily because I believe that janji Allah itu pasti. InsyaAllah. Baby Jakarta it is. Amin. Amin YRA

Baby, I love u forever. You will always be in my prayer and thought. We shall meet in heaven love.

The day I found out

It was Thursday, December 13 ,when I decided to go to Jusco to have lunch there. I was 4 days late for period but I was confident that my menses was late as I have taken antibiotics for URTI few days before the estimated day of my period. I reconfirmed with my colleague who apparently had encountered the same experience before and she said that she was late for almost a week due to the antibiotics consumption.so there goes my hope. I did not put my hope high but I just felt something unusual esp w my miss B. it was indescribable but i just remembered waking up in the morning with miss B feeling so saket and "heavy". I trusted my instinct. i went to the Guardian and bought the cheapest test kit. Went straight to the toilet and had my urine tested. read the instructions on the box and it turned out to be SO complicated that I had to pee in the case provided,n used the look-alike syringe to transfer the urine from the "box" to the test cassette and to wait for the line/s to appear. After a few failed attempts of "transferring", finally the C line( the C= control) started to appear to indicate that the test worked. patiently I waited for few moments to check if there was any sign of the second line to appear. To my surprise, i could actually see that there was a second faint line starting to appear. I was shaking i tell u. I was in disbelief. Thus, i read the instructions again and it stated that a positive line should be confirmed after 5 mins. Pheww lamanye.since it was a public toilet I felt like its not appropriate to wait that long so I made a move to Secret Recipe nearby to have lunch there. Ordered my food and drinks and later secretly peeping into my handbag to check the test cassette. Alhamdulillah. Allah has answered my prayers. I could see the TWO lines there. I snapped the pic and whatsapped it to my husband.
That is how we found out about "you" my lil miracle...

Syukran Ya Allah

Alhamdulillah syukur ya Allah.